


Not going anywhere

by sherripolo



Category: Good Trouble, The Fosters
Genre: F/F, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21878503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherripolo/pseuds/sherripolo
Summary: Based on a quote by Erin Van Vuren.Stef is falling, will Lena catch her?
Relationships: Lena Adams Foster/Stef Adams Foster, Stef Foster/Lena Adams
Comments: 10
Kudos: 27





	1. Falling for you

"You can take your 'I'm okay' hat off now. It's just me. Fall apart. I'm not going anywhere," Lena sighed heavily as she reached over and placed her hand over Stef's.

Since Stef’s separation with her husband, Brandon would spend the week with her and weekends at his dad’s new apartment. Stef had met Lena when she enrolled Brandon into Anchor Beach Charter School just 3 months ago. Since then, Stef only thought about the brunette woman that she was so sure was an angel. She would often find herself staring into space while doing paperwork for meagre arrests. 

**_“Foster! Captain wants you in her office.”_ **

**_Stef was startled out of her daydream when her rookie partner hollered out. This was the third time in about an hour that someone had brought her back into reality and it really was starting to get out of hand. She just couldn’t stop thinking about her no matter how hard she tried. Every time she’d sit down and get out her paperwork, she felt herself drifting to a world where only Lena and her lived._ **

**_She made her way into Captain Roberts office, “you wanted to see me, ma’am?” Stef was awkwardly stood by the door playing with her hands._ **

**_“Yes, please take a seat,” Captain Roberts gestured in front of her at the seats in front of her desk and Stef quickly made her way to sit down. “How have you been doing recently?” She asked._ **

**_“Fine,” she lied. Stef had been anything but fine. If she wasn’t fighting with Mike about when he could see Brandon, she was daydreaming at work about the next time she could see Lena._ **

**_Stef wasn’t stupid, she knew what her feelings towards Lena meant. The last time she felt anything even remotely close to this was when she was still in the academy. Gracie had invited her for drinks one night and before she knew it, they were making out in the ladies room. Before that there was Tess during high school. Granted they were only caught cuddling, but who knows what that could have turned into. Stef knew her feelings towards Lena weren’t going away anytime soon._ **

**_“I know the thing with Mike is taking a toll on you. I hate to say it but it’s showing in your work, Stef,” she said pointedly. “Go home, Stef. Go cuddle with your son. Come back tomorrow when you’re able to concentrate.”_ **

**_“Thank you ma’am.” Stef was grateful for her Captain. She knew the whole story with Mike; his drinking, their separation. What she didn’t know was Stef’s distracted behaviour had nothing to do with any of that. No, ever since Lena came along, her worries about her marriage had rapidly disappeared._ **

Two nights earlier, Stef and Lena had spent the evening together. It was a regular thing for them to get dinner together now. Every Friday for the past month and a half Stef would pick Lena up from her townhouse and they’d spend their evenings at a small Italian restaurant by the pier. Each week they’d spend hours talking and getting to know each other. 

They would talk about Brandon and the funny things he had said that week. They would talk about growing up as only child’s and how Lena wanted a house full of kids, but also how Stef felt that wasn’t in the cards for herself anymore. They’d small talk about the weather and their favourite foods. Though what was absolutely off limits and never to be mentioned? Mike. It was an unspoken rule between the pair from the beginning that neither would mention Stef’s husband. Stef didn’t want to open that can of worms and Lena was, quite frankly, too scared to. 

Every Friday was the same; Stef picked Lena up, they’d go to dinner, Stef would take Lena home and walk her to her front door. Every Friday, except this past Friday. 

**_“You know, you really don’t have to walk me to my door. I’m sure I’d be fine getting here by myself,” Lena said, turning around to look at Stef just as they got to the door. She raised her eyebrow just slightly, giving Stef a certain ‘look’ that she’d come to see all too often._ **

**_“And you know that yes, I do. I’d worry too much if I didn’t,” Stef replied._ **

**_In the short time that they’ve known each other, Stef had become rather protective of the brunette. She would often lay awake at night after their Friday night dinners trying to convince herself that she’d do it for anyone, when in reality, she knew she was totally kidding herself._ **

**_“I see now why you make such a good cop. You just can’t switch off your ‘serve and protect’ mode,” she teased Stef, stepping closer to her. Lena couldn’t help but look into her hazel eyes; she loved Stef’s eyes. She would often find herself getting lost in them, what she didn’t realise was, Stef would often do the same._ **

**_Stef’s breath hitched in her throat as she realised how close she was and yet somehow it just wasn’t enough. Staring right back into Lena’s eyes, she was struggling to find words. She glanced down to Lena’s lips and quickly back up to see her do the same._ **

**_Before she even realised what she was doing, she felt her lips on Lena’s. She felt her hands wrapping her around waist as she pulled her closer. Stef couldn’t believe how soft Lena felt. She never wanted this to end._ **

“I’m… I’m so sorry… so so sorry for what happened on Friday. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know you’re seeing someone but…” She took a breath, she couldn’t believe what she had done. Lena had a girlfriend and Stef was straight. _Married_ and straight. Or at least she thought she was, but then she met Lena and her whole world changed. “I think… uhh… I think I’m falling in love with you,” Stef admitted. 

Lena slowly pulled her hand away from Stef’s, “you _think_ you’re falling in love with me?” After Stef had kissed her, she didn’t know how to feel. Lena still doesn’t know how to feel. She was looking at this woman who she had completely fallen for. This woman who had no idea that she broke it off with her girlfriend the moment she walked away from Stef. This woman, this _straight married woman,_ who had no idea just how much she would give up for her. 

As Lena stared at Stef waiting for her to say something. _Anything._ She wanted her to tell her that she was leaving Mike, that the divorce papers were being written up as they spoke; or at least as they sat there in silence. She wanted Stef to say _yes, of course I’m in love with you, Lena_ as Lena wanted nothing more than to take Stef into her arms and profess her love; _I love you too, I always have_. 

If she thought hard enough, Lena could still feel Stef’s lips touching hers. She had thought about it many times before Friday, but nothing could compare to the real thing. She still felt her hands around her waist as she pulled her in closer while Lena’s hand rested gently on her cheek before she pulled away, keeping Stef at arms length. It took everything in her not to pull her back in. She knew she had to walk away; she knew that this couldn’t work.

When she realised that Stef wasn’t about to say anything she stood up and sat on the chair across from her, clasping her hands together. “I don’t really know what to say to that,” Lena whispered. 

It was only now that Stef actually looked at Lena. She saw the confusion in her eyes, her face clearly trying to mask the hurt she was feeling. That was one thing Lena could never do; she could never hide how she was truly feeling from Stef. On the contrary, Stef had her walls built high from the beginning, only letting Lena in a little bit a time. 

“I broke up with Olivia. It wasn’t fair on her for me to string her along like this,” Lena sat up straighter as she started to admit her wrongdoings. 

“What do you mean?” Stef asked, frowning slightly. 

It was clear to Lena that Stef was holding back. Her walls were built high and Lena had to find a way to tear them down one way or another. Lena shifted awkwardly, she knew that this conversation would forever change their relationship. She just wasn’t sure in what way. 

“I love you, Stef,” she started. “But you’re married, and I refuse to be your secret.”

“Lena…” Stef wanted to reason with her, tell her it didn’t have to be that way, they could just go on as they have been for the past month and a half. Couldn’t they? Lena had just said that Olivia was no longer an issue; but Mike still is. She’s still married, but they had been separated for almost a year now! Deep down though, Stef knew that wasn’t fair on Lena, and Lena deserved nothing less than perfect. 

“No Stef,” Lena interpreted. She knew exactly what Stef was thinking; her walls may be built high but Lena still knew Stef. “I am not doing this. You are married and both Mike _and_ myself deserve better than this.” 

Stef couldn’t help but look the floor, continuing to pick at one spot on her jeans. She knew Lena was right, of course Lena is right. There was no way she could expect her to be a secret but she couldn’t lose her either. That would just about kill her as her heart was already aching so badly for who she could only describe as her soulmate. 

She was almost furious at this point. Lena didn’t not for one second disbelieve Stef, but after Gretchen cheating on her, she was not about to be _the other woman._ “You need to sort things out. I am not telling you how to do that but you just need to do it,” Lena was looking directly into Stef’s eyes at this point. She needed to hold her ground, even if it was slowly killing her. “You deserve better than that too,” she declared softly. 

Stef held her gaze, the tears in her eyes practically burning them at this point. She didn’t know what to say. She knew that Lena was rapidly slipping through her fingers and no matter how tightly she was grasping, Stef was still losing. She attempted to blink her tears away, but it was no use as they finally spilled down her cheeks. Quickly wiping them away, she stood up and started pacing. 

“I can’t lose you, Lena!” Stef spoke loudly. 

“I think… I think you might have to,” Lena couldn’t look at Stef any longer, feeling her own tears bubble at the surface. “I think you should go Stef, I can’t do this. You know I can’t do this.” Lena said, shaking her head. 

Stef stopped and looked down at Lena. She couldn’t believe this was happening, “you really want me to go?” Stef questioned, her voice breaking.

“Yes, you have to,” Lena whispered back. She put her head in her hands silently begging for Stef to leave so she could breakdown. She knew if Stef saw _that_ then she’d never leave. Stef would take Lena in her arms and she would melt into them just as she did every single time. She wanted nothing more than for that to happen but she knew couldn’t. She couldn’t. _Couldn’t she?_

She could break, let Stef have what she wanted. Nothing _really_ had to change, they could still go to dinner on Friday’s. They could still spend Saturdays together. They didn’t have to stop any of that really. _Right?_ Just as she was getting lost in her thoughts, she heard the door close. 

After who knows how long had gone by, Lena slowly stood up. She steadied herself before making her way to the upstairs bathroom. As she closed the door, she could no longer hold her own weight. Using the door as support, she sat down bringing her knees up to her chest. Finally, she let her tears fall and soon enough her whole body was shaking as she lost control. Stef had done what she’d asked, and left. _Her Stef_ had done what she’d asked, and left.


	2. Stef

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stef’s thoughts after the fight

Putting her car in park and switching off the engine, Stef was thankful she was finally home. Hell, she was thankful that she even made it home as her tears were currently clouding her vision. Her body was on autopilot, there was no way she could be doing this on her own.

Lena. Lena had asked her to leave. She told her to leave. Her heart was aching. Lena was her soulmate, she knew that. How couldn’t she know that? Now that she was alone, and didn’t have to worry about Brandon until later that afternoon, she let the remainder of her tears fall down her face. Before she knew it, her whole body was shaking with sobs and there was no stopping the downpour.

Stef didn’t know how much time had gone by before she realized she was shivering. With only her t-shirt on, she remembered she left her jacket at Lena’s when she made her swift exit. Stef never felt cold around Lena, it was almost as if she managed to keep her warm purely by her presence. Stef let her mind wander as she thought about how she felt when Lena walked into a room. How seeing her smile made her whole day sometimes. How when she laughs, her nose would crinkle slightly and oh how she longed she would one day see it again.

With that, she remembered one of the first conversations she had with Lena. It was before they had begun seeing each other outside of Anchor Beach. Stef would oftentimes linger at drop-off time in the morning just to get a glance at the beautiful woman.

**_Stef didn’t know what had gotten into her. Brandon was already in his class, settled, with everything he required for the day and yet Stef was still there. She was waiting for the Assistant Vice Principal who, for some reason, completely took her breath away._ **

**_She saw her come around the corner and start talking with some of the parents. Stef could see her focusing on each individual person until she slowly started looking around; as they made eye contact, Lena smiled and Stef felt like she was floating once again._ **

**_Lena excused herself from the current conversation and wandered briskly towards Stef. She felt her heart beating throughout her whole body. ‘Why can’t you control yourself? She’s just a woman, just like you, Stefanie,’ she thought. As Lena got closer, she tried with all of her energy to get herself together._ **

**_“Good morning, fancy seeing you here,” Stef smiled. She watched as Lena giggled and her nose crinkle slightly, goodness she looked adorable._ **

**_“Good morning to you too,” Lena replied. “I see you’re not wearing your uniform today, is everything okay?”_ **

**_Stef’s eyes met the ground as she let out a sigh. “I have the day off today, I have a thing to attend,” she said quietly, looking back up at Lena._ **

**_The truth was, that day she had to go see Mike to talk about their separation, his AA meetings as well as a whole bunch of other things that Stef really didn’t have time for. Right now she wasn’t ready for Mike to come home and she really wasn’t sure she ever would be._ **

**_Lena sensed her hesitation and decided not to push at the moment. Instead, she had a whole other idea and before she could even give it a second thought, she found herself asking Stef to meet her afterward for lunch._ **

**_“Sure,” the blonde replied, “anywhere particular you were thinking?”_ **

Stef found herself smiling slightly at the memory. As it turned out, that was their beginning, and now they were ultimately at the end of that chapter of their lives. Unless there was anything she could do to win back the angel that abruptly entered her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for making you all sad. I promise it gets better


	3. Lena

Since Stef had left Lena’s house, Lena couldn’t help but fall apart. How she had let that woman get under her skin like that she’d never understand.Lena didn’t know how long she had spent sitting on her bathroom floor after she’d finally stopped crying what felt like a never ending stream of tears.

For a week now Lena had cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. It was all she could put her mind to as she had also called in sick at work, spending the whole week at home. Lena had rearranged her bedroom, organised and reorganised the kitchen, gone through her closet and arranged everything by colour as well as clean all the windows, walls and baseboards.

It was safe to say that Lena was exhausted. It felt like she hadn’t eaten since Stef left and she knew for sure what little sleep she did manage to get was infested with dreams about the woman she longingly wanted to forget.

As a result of her breakdown, she had failed to mention anything to her friends. Jenna had tried calling and even left several voicemails but there was no getting through to Lena. As the week went on Jenna got increasingly more worried for her friend.

“Lena?” Jenna hollered, she decided it was best to just come and see her as she clearly wasn’t going to answer her phone anytime soon. Walking down the hallway she heard a crash coming from the kitchen, “Lena?!”

Making her way into the room, she found Lena on the floor surrounded by her baking bowls and measuring cups. She slowly helped her up and saw what a state Lena was in. Her hair was half straightened, her eyes were red and puffy and it looked like she hadn’t slept in at least a week.

“What happened?” She asked softly, “is it Stef?”

Lena looked up at Jenna and nodded slowly. Her eyes started to water for what felt like the millionth time today as Jenna lead her to the living room and sat her on the couch. She took a seat next to her, “tell me what happened.”

Jenna knew some of what was going on and she had initially warned her about the blonde, but seeing the way her best friends eyes lit up while talking about her it was impossible to convince her to stay away. Now, as she listened to her heartbroken friend, she couldn’t help but wonder what Stef was thinking. Here Lena was, truly in love, with nothing to show for it and quite frankly Jenna couldn’t stand to see it.

“…she just left Jenna, and I can’t do anything about it! She probably went back to that stupid husband of hers,” Lena finished, sniffling and wiping her eyes.

“She said she was in love with you?” Jenna questioned. She wasn’t convinced Stef was straight as she saw the way she looked at Lena, however she wasn’t convinced she was gay either.

“No, she said she thinks she’s falling in love with me,” Lena emphasised. “She has no idea how she feels, she’s clearly confused because of what’s happening with her marriage and she has no right to be making these claims!”

“But she also kissed you…” Jenna trailed off, seeing the daggers that Lena was giving her. Jenna knew what she was saying was risky but she also knew that maybe Lena needed to hear it. Jenna had seen first-hand the way Stef and Lena interacted with one another. The affection they had for each other was not a friendship; they were clearly in love.

“Jenna, she’s married. Married. To a man! Don’t you get that?” Lena argued, “she’s not coming back and I would appreciate if you would stop thinking what you’re thinking and just go back to convincing me that she’s straight and no good.” She pleaded with her friend.

Lena has known Jenna for most of her life and knew her like the back of her hand. She could see what she was trying to do but Lena couldn’t convince herself that Stef was coming back. There was no way she could do that, Lena had already gotten her heart broken.

“Okay. She’s rotten. Straight and no good, clearly,” Jenna put her arm around Lena and pulled her into a hug, which she gladly accepted. Though for the first time in a week, Lena allowed herself to think back at a time when she thought she had a chance.

**_“So you really want me to come?” Stef questioned._ **

**_Her and Lena were having lunch in Lena’s office. It was the third day in a row after Stef had confided in her about Mike; their separation, his drinking. Much to Stef’s embarrassment, she had cried on Lena’s shoulder about the whole thing._ **

**_Lena was now asking her if she wanted to have drinks with her and her friends. The blonde was surely surprised and Lena was equally when she accepted the offer. Lena knew she was playing with fire but she just wanted to feel something. Anything. If this straight married woman was the one to do just that then who was she to say no._ **

**_In just a short couple weeks, as well as the lunch breaks they had spent together, Lena had fallen for the woman. She longed to see her in the morning after she dropped Brandon off and missed her when she’d leave after picking him up. Lena had fallen for the blonde hard and she wasn’t planning on getting back up anytime soon._ **

**_“Of course I do,” she reassured her, “besides, Jenna and Kelly are lovely, I just don’t want to be a third wheel.”_ **

**_“Ohh, I see, I’m just there for back-up?” Stef teased. Lena couldn’t help but giggle at the blonde, crinkling her nose. This woman could make her laugh like no other. She hadn’t felt like this since before her and Gretchen were together._ **

**_“No!” She affirmed, “it’s just, they recently adopted their child, Garret, and it’s their first night out, so I know if I turn up alone they are going to bury me in picture after picture after picture.”_ **

**_Lena found herself just looking at Stef as she looked back. They’d had several moments like this before. Moments of silence, almost studying each other’s faces like they would one day be tested. Lena would notice when Stef’s hair was pulled back into a braid, how sharp her jawline really was. She noticed when her hair was free and flowing around her shoulders, she would almost hide behind her bangs as if she was scared of being seen. As if she was hiding from herself._ **

As Lena recalled one of the many memories from her office, she pulled back from her friend and smiled slightly. She knew there was no way she’d be seeing her again like that. At least not anytime soon, but she couldn’t but wonder what Stef was doing as she sat in her living room with her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long to write!


	4. Not Going Anywhere

“Wow,” Stef sighed. She laid down onto the pillows, pulling Lena close to her. Lena breathed her in loving everything about what just happened between them.

“Wow yourself,” she whispered back, smirking into the crook of the blonde's neck. “Are you sure I’m the first woman you’ve been with?” She laughed softly as Stef did too.

“Yes, you are,” Stef began, quickly becoming serious again, “so it was okay?” She continued shyly. She felt Lena gently trace her finger over her abs and look up to her. Avoiding her gaze she ran her fingers through Lena’s hair. All she wanted was to impress Lena. It was no secret that Lena had been intimate with more women than Stef. She couldn’t help but feel insecure and inexperienced as if she was a senior in high school again, fumbling around in the backseat of some college guys car.

Lena had noticed that Stef was still shy about a lot of things. She knew they were all firsts for her, and Lena just had to be patient. Lena knew that Stef’s tough act was just that, an act; right now she was seeing the real Stefanie Foster. The one who was sensitive, the one who had a heart of gold, and the one who only thought about others before herself.

It had already been a month since the day in the school parking lot when Stef told Lena that she had come out. The divorce papers had already been written up. Her father had already shunned her. The guys at the precinct were already cracking jokes at her expense. Stef couldn’t concentrate on that though, all she could think about was getting Lena back. Getting _her Lena_ back.

“You’re perfect,” Lena whispered, “everything about you is perfect.” Stef finally made eye contact with the love of her life and couldn’t help but think about the time when she thought she had lost Lena for good.

**·**

_“Stefanie, I can hear it in your voice! I know when something is wrong with my baby,” Sharon hollered. Sharon Elkin and her daughter, Stef had weekly catch-up phone calls. These phone calls would mainly consist of talking about Brandon and what he had been up to, but more recently Stef had spilled the beans on her new friend, Lena, and Sharon couldn’t help but be curious._

_“Mom, I’m fine, really,” Stef mumbled, “could you just drop it? I really don’t want to talk about this.” Her hands were shaking as she tried to steady the phone on her shoulder. Her heart was beating so loudly, she was almost scared that her mother would hear. Stef knew her mom wasn’t stupid and would eventually get her to talk, yet right now if she even allowed herself to think about Lena she would breakdown. Again._

_It had been two weeks since she last saw Lena. She tried to call her, she tried to see her outside of school, she even went as far as emailing her, but each with no success. Lena had disappeared on her and she wasn’t sure when she’d get to see her again. If she’d ever get to see her again. Stef needed to explain herself and she was one ignored email away from going over to her house again._

_“So there is something to talk about. Is it Lena?” She asked bluntly. Sharon wasn’t ignorant to the fact that her daughter liked women. She saw it when she was in high school with Tess. She heard it in her voice when Stef would talk about a new female officer on the force. Sharon even saw the way her eyes would light up when Lena was around. One weekend when she came to visit, she, Stef and Lena had lunch together and couldn’t help but notice the look of affection on her daughters face when Lena came into the room._

_“Mother…” Stef sighed. That had done it. Stef couldn’t help but feel the knot in her stomach twist and turn. “I… I really… Can’t talk about her. Please.”_

_“I’ve seen the way you look at her, Stefanie. Heck, I’ve seen the way she looks at you!” Sharon continued. Her daughter needed to talk to her and she needed to talk now. Whether Stef thought so or not, she was going to get the truth out of her. Whatever that truth may be._

_“What about it, mom? Huh? What does it matter now?” Stef practically yelled down the phone. She felt the tears on her face and couldn’t believe she actually had any left. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, “she won’t talk to me, mom,” she whispered._

_“Tell me what happened, love,” Sharon softly smiled._

_As Stef poured her heart out, Sharon simply listened. She listened as Stef explained the lunches, the Friday night dinners, the Saturday morning brunches before going grocery shopping together. She told her about their last conversation and how_ **_her Lena_ ** _told her to leave._

_“…I think I’m in love with her mom. Is that what this is? Is this what love is supposed to feel like?” Stef sniffled. Her shoulders felt significantly lighter, something that was unexpected._

_There was silence on the line. Of course, Sharon knew Stef was in love with Lena. It seemed to be completely obvious to everyone else except the two in question. “You_ **_think_ ** _you’re in love with her?” She questioned._

_“I know what you’re going to say, ma. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it,” she started, “nothing is going to happen between us. I told you, she won’t talk to me.”_

_“Your love isn’t wrong. Stefanie, and I think you know what you need to do,” Sharon began, “If you’re really serious about Lena then you need to tell Mike.” She didn’t beat around the bush about this, she wanted to get straight to the point. Sharon was tired of seeing her daughter living for everyone else’s expectations._

**·**

“What are you thinking about?” Lena whispered as she traced her finger along her lover's collar bone. She couldn’t believe that she was actually here, it still felt like a dream to her. One moment she was wishing for Stef and the next she had her. How could she not pinch herself to see if this was really happening?

“About when my mom told me that my love for you wasn’t wrong,” Stef played with Lena’s curly hair. It wasn’t the first time she had seen her natural hair but she couldn’t get enough of it. All she wanted to do was run her hands through each individual curl.

Lena smirked, “I knew I liked your mom. She’s a smart woman.”

“Oh, my love, you have had one lunch with her,” Stef laughed along with Lena, if anyone understood mother troubles, it was her. “Just wait, ten years down the road I’m sure you’ll be saying something very different.”

“You think we’ll be together in ten years?” Lena couldn’t help but smile while asking. She was so in love with this woman. This _definitely not straight woman._ Any and all doubts she had about Stef disappeared that day in the parking lot. _You had me at lesbian…_

“I know this is so early, and all so new but I’m here for the long haul with you,” Stef kissed Lena’s forehead, “I’m so in love with you.” It was undeniable. As her lips rested on her love’s forehead, her mind drifted to thinking about their future together.

She thought about the house they would one day buy; it would have a real driveway and backyard so Brandon could play outside along with their future children. Their house would have enough bedrooms so no one would have to share. A big enough kitchen with a table so Lena could cook as many family meals her heart desired. 

Stef knew that Lena wanted children _‘a house full of kids’_ she once told her and Stef couldn’t wait until she could give that to her. Stef wanted to give Lena the whole world; anything Lena wanted, Stef would surely provide as she couldn’t stand to see _her_ woman be upset or disappointed.

Coming out of her thoughts, she sat up slightly to look at Lena properly, “so… when did you know you had feelings for me?” She asked shyly. This was something she wondered about often. She wanted to know the moment when she saw Stef as more than a friend.

“Well, when you left after the tour for Brandon I couldn’t stop thinking about you. So I’m pretty sure that was instant,” Lena began, “but I do know the exact moment when I fell in love with you.”

“Tell me,” Stef was almost giddy with excitement.

**·**

_It was the Monday after Lena and Stef’s second Friday night dinner and she hadn’t thought of much else since. She was in the middle of organizing the paperwork on her desk when Max, the secretary, popped his head into her office._

_“Hey, you have a visitor. A Stef Foster? Should I send her in?” Max smiled knowingly as Lena briskly put away her paperwork._

_“Yes! Please do,” she tried and very much failed to hide the excitement in her voice. She smiled as Stef walked into her office, closing the door. Lena motioned towards the couch and they both sat down next to each other._

_Stef was wearing her uniform and, as usual, Lena struggled to take her eyes off of her. She loved how her curves looked in her uniform. She loved how her curves looked regardless, but there was just a certain confidence she emitted while wearing her uniform._

_“So you’re probably wondering what on earth I’m doing here but, I was patrolling the Fall Fest and there was this stall with the most beautiful silk scarves and I couldn’t help but think about you when I saw them,” she began as she reached into her bag to retrieve a small gift bag, which she handed to Lena. “Anyway, I thought you’d really like this one. You look really nice in blue so…” She trailed off._

_Lena was beside herself as she listened to Stef,_ **_she thought about me?_ ** _She almost didn’t believe it as she broke eye contact and reached into the gift bag pulling out the scarf. It was beautiful and so soft. She looked up at Stef again smiling,_ **_wow I think I’m in love with her._ **

**·**

“You fell in love with me because I bought you a scarf?” Stef asked confused.

“It wasn’t that you _bought_ me a scarf, it the fact you thought about me when you were at work. You saw something you thought I’d like and just… _thought_ about me,” Lena explained shyly. Being vulnerable with Stef was easy for her, but she still couldn’t help but feel shy around the love of her life.

Stef, on the other hand, was still struggling to be truly vulnerable. There was no doubt that she was absolutely in love with the woman that lay beside her, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t quiet the voice in her head telling her that she was wrong; that _they_ were wrong.

“I always think about you, even then, you were always on my mind,” Stef caressed Lena’s cheek as she looked into her eyes. “I remember when I fell in love with you too.”

Lena smiled as she held the blonde’s hand to her cheek, “will you tell me? Please?”

“Hmm, maybe another time my love,” Stef wrapped her arms around Lena, pulling her closer, “I just want to hold you right now”

Lena melted into Stef’s embrace, loving the way her strong arms felt around her. She wrapped her own arms around the blonde's waist and interlocked their legs. As the two lay in silence their minds drifted off, thinking about their journey to one another. It was bumpy, a little messy but filled with hope.

“You really love me?” Stef broke the silence. _Just to make sure…_

“Of course, I’m not going anywhere,” Lena replied.

_Fin_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story. While writing this chapter, I've actually been thinking about a potential book two. I'll have to do some more thinking on that though as it definitely wasn't my intention when I first started writing. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts about the story! If you think I should go for a book two then please let me know about that too. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, I appreciate everyone who reads my writing!
> 
> sherripolo · bee

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to be a 'I want to kill the author but in a good way' kind of fic. Let me know how I did.


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